Women have a harder time enjoying sex--so why is the mental load left to her? Today on the podcast we play a bunch of clips of different pastors/speakers that show all the different ways that the mental load & emotional labour for sex are so often placed on...
Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker ignore abuse victims in Every Man's Battle. They never talk about the reality of sexual abuse, or acknowledge that a man's lust and sexual behavior can deeply injure women. Instead, they portray the victim when men lust as the man...
Why is lust a sin? That may seem like a silly question, because it's obvious, right? It's LUST. And lust is bad. But seriously--what, specifically, is bad about it? I think that answer really matters, because part of the reason the "all men struggle with lust; it's...
What’s the real reason many women don’t want sex? Whenever we talk about how sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both and that the obligation sex message is toxic, the reply we get is something along these lines: without obligation, obviously, women...
When men reveal they objectify women–treat those men accordingly. One of the things that shocks me about evangelical culture is that a man can reveal that he has a really low view of women, or that he objectifies women or blames them for men’s sin, and that doesn’t...
Do men naturally know more about sex than women? On a recent Facebook post, still deeply bothered by that infamous clip from Josh Howerton, I asked this question, “Do we think men "naturally" know more about sex than women do? And that men are equipped to teach...
When people say they “don’t want” sex tonight, what do they mean? We talked about this on the Bare Marriage podcast last week, but I'd like to elaborate on part of it today. I think we often get confused when people talk about this. They’ll say,“Well, sometimes I have...
"So you think it's okay if women just don't have sex, then?" Whenever we talk about how sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and that the obligation sex message is toxic, the reply we get is something along these lines--without obligation,...
What happens to your ability to orgasm after menopause? In the last few months I’ve talked to three women in my social circle who say that orgasm has completely stopped once they started menopause, though it was pretty easy before. For one woman it’s been ten years...
A healthy vagina is lubricated, supple, and elastic. It's supposed to be able to stretch (for obvious reasons, like both penetrative sex and childbirth), but then it's also supposed to go back into place afterwards. It's supposed to get lubricated and stay at least a...
Is sex really painful the first time? That’s one of the most common questions I get asked from engaged women waiting for the wedding night. How much is going to hurt? What should I expect? This month I’m going to look at some “myths” that we often have around sex....
This week The Good Guy’s Guide and Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex Turn 2! Two years ago, these two books launched. I wrote the original Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex in 2012, and Zondervan contracted with Keith and me to write a companion guy’s version, to come out...
The 72 Hour Rule is Made Up by Evangelical Authors. Yep. This month on the blog we're "fact checking" common sex beliefs, and one of the biggest ones in evangelical circles is the 72 hour rule: the idea that a wife must have sex with her husband every 72 hours,...
Is there really such a thing as “blue balls”? This month I want to start a new series on the blog called “Fact Checked it For You”, where we look up some of the most common outrageous claims made about sex, and see if they actually stand up to scrutiny. We’ll be...
What happens to women’s desire level if their husbands don’t do housework? This month, our series on the blog is going to focus on some new studies that have recently been published in peer reviewed journals. We like keeping up with research, and we shared four new...