One of the most frequent questions I get from men is this one: How can I get my wife to understand my sexual needs? He feels like he’s in a sex-starved marriage, and he’s desperate for sex. But the more he talks about sex, the more his wife pulls away. What’s the...
Is frequency of sex related to marital happiness? Like, does having more sex make your marriage better? Well, yes. And also no. It's nuanced. And today Rebecca and I are going to look at the studies, and show you why our approach to sex, and our go-to advice, is so...
Is it fair to call sex a need? We're very much against obligation sex here at Bare Marriage--we've done research that has shown that the obligation sex message results in far worse marital and sexual outcomes, and contributes to abuse rates. But at the same time, is...
Obligation sex can wreak havoc on us. For last month we’ve been doing a deep dive into obligation sex, looking at the main problems with obligation sex, how it affects women’s bodies, why you don’t need to consent to being used, and more. But as we’re nearing the end...
More sex does not fix a marriage. In our study of 20,000 women for The Great Sex Rescue, we found that more sex made good marriages great. Good sex, in a healthy marriage, definitely helps that marriage thrive. But sex can’t fix a bad marriage. And, indeed, having bad...
Should women get to have a say in when they have sex? I would think that the answer to this is pretty obvious. I don't have time for a long post today, but I want to talk about a social media trend that's been occurring, I think because of my obligation sex series. ...
Is there a way forward after obligation sex? If obligation sex has been the norm in your marriage, and if it's been affecting your libido and your marriage, what do you actually do about it? How do you recover from it? This month on the blog we've been looking at...
Can feelings of sexual obligation affect your libido long-term? This month we're talking about obligation sex. We started last week by noting 10 things to understand about obligation sex, when I wrote the definitive post of everything that I tend to talk about with...
Obligation Sex is the idea that a wife is obligated to have sex when her husband wants to. It’s that simple. It was one of the beliefs that we studied in our survey of 20,000 women for our book The Great Sex Rescue, and we found that when women believed this message...
Every week I try to create awesome content for you all on the blog and the podcast–and even my social media! But I’ve got to tell you–some of the best content coming out of Bare Marriage is our Friday email that goes out to 46,000 people every week. And I don’t write...
This week, Focus on the Family actually published something healthy. Now, before I go any further, this does not mean that I think they’re a healthy organization now. They still promote all the same unhealthy authors in their store. They still don’t condone divorce...
We’ve got some new findings from our survey of 20,000 women! Behind the scenes, for the last year, between running new numbers for blog posts and podcasts, and presenting at conferences, Joanna Sawatsky (my amazing co-author for The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves...
Ready for some new research on orgasm? It's been a while since we shared some new findings in the areas of sex and marriage, and we've been saving new peer reviewed articles and studies to tell you about! Today we thought we'd focus on two that relate to obligation...
You can definitely tell if a woman is aroused. But what if some marriage authors or teachers don’t understand the difference between a woman being willing to have sex and a woman being aroused? Too often, teaching around marriage and sexuality centres the male...
What if the sex that is being described by many male authors is actually male-centric? What if the way they're talking about sex actually hints that it's not about her pleasure at all, but is simply focused on his climax during intercourse? That's what we think is...