Does the G-spot exist? And what is it?
Here at Bare Marriage (where we talk about how to make marriage and sex more than just chores!) I like to be a safe place to talk about sex. I know that there are some things that people want to know, but they’re afraid to Google (for good reason). And I have so many people telling me that they got most of their sex education from me (which is an honor, but also kind of a big responsibility!).
So I thought this month, for Valentine’s Day, we’d tackle some topics about women’s arousal and pleasure we haven’t tackled before–namely the G-spot and multiple orgasms. I did talk about the G-spot a bit in The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, but I want to delve into it a little bit more today. Yes, this post is going to be graphic. But I’m going to try to keep it in good taste. And honestly, this is just medical information. I hope that I can help women learn more about their bodies!
So what is the G-spot?
Well, that’s actually a big debate. So let’s talk about what people generally mean when they say “g-spot”. The term, named after German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, was made popular in the 1980s. It’s about 2 inches up the front wall of the vagina (the same side as your belly button, not your back). Originally it was thought to be about a 1 inch square sized bit of flesh.
The first people to write about the G-spot said that it caused intense vaginal orgasms, and, in some cases, “female ejaculation”, where, at orgasm, you suddenly “squirt” some liquid. Many women are afraid when this happens that they just peed; not at all. It’s a totally different fluid. This has been documented for hundreds of years in some pretty scary old medical books for some pretty scary treatments (as you can imagine), but there’s no doubt that it can happen.
All kinds of articles were written to try to teach women how to locate their G-spot. Sex toys were made that would do this. Women’s magazines in the 1990s and early 2000s routinely wrote articles about this “new” thing which had just been learned, and helping women try to reach new heights of pleasure.
The problem was that a lot of women couldn’t find a specific spot. They were reading all these articles saying, “It’s there! You should find it!” But sex itself didn’t seem to be able to stimulate it. So researchers jumped in the game and tried to find a specific spot, too. They couldn’t, and when they released their study saying that the G-spot didn’t exist, they got all kinds of pushback from women saying, “but it does! I can feel it!”
So what’s the truth about the G-spot?
What researchers now believe is that the G-spot isn’t a specific spot, as much as it is a region on the front wall of vagina, on the other side of the urethral sponge (which is often why sex can feel better when you have to go to the bathroom a little bit). And the G-spot is not a separate entity, but rather the result of “roots” of the clitoris. They think that the clitoris, that little “bulb” or “button” of flesh in front of the urethra, in the vulva (so between your two folds of skin on your vulva) has “legs” or roots that extend up the front wall of the vagina when aroused, and that this can cause far more intense orgasms than just the clitoris alone.
Some women seem to be far more sensitive in that area than others, and it seems to be due to the thickness of the tissue in the area. But it’s something science is still trying to figure out.
Here’s an anatomical illustration to show you:
What does this mean for you?
I figure it can be a pretty fun research project! No one should feel like they have to find a G-spot, or that they’re somehow inadequate if they don’t. And remember that even women who do say they have one often have a difficult time experiencing orgasm through “missionary” position sex, because the penis just isn’t putting pressure on the right place at the right angle.
One of the dares in my new Sexy Dares Product is to help you find where your G-spot is (or at least figure out what angles feel better for you), and it’s got some fun tips about positions, etc.
Does your marriage need some spicing up–and some fun?
Look at that illustration again. See how if you just tilt forward, the pubic bone puts more pressure on the urethra, which puts pressure on that part of he vaginal wall. And it simultaneously puts pressure on the clitoris. Tilting activates all the right things.
So here’s the tip: during intercourse in any position, get comfortable. Then, once you are, tilt your hips a bit. And now, try making circles instead of thrusting, and just see if it feels any different!
And if you want to have some more fun, check out the 24 sexy dares we created! They’re only $4.99, so they’re super cheap, right in time for Valentine’s Day. And you can get “invites” to print out for your husband to tell him that you bought this for him for Valentine’s Day, too (you get that when you order). The price will go up after Valentine’s Day, so try them out now!
I’m not sure if anyone will want to comment on something so personal (I often guess wrong on these things), but if you do, let me know: do you think the G-spot is a thing? What’s the best way to find out?