I'm tired of being called uptight for not wanting pornified views of sex. The amazing Gisele Pelicot, who is genuinely a hero, has famously said "shame must switch sides." She's the woman whose husband arranged for almost 100 men to rape her while she was unconscious,...
What if a guy is struggling with lust, but honestly wants to do better? But at the same time, he finds that when he’s out in public, he DOES immediately focus on women’s body parts or imagine them naked. He doesn’t want to. He’s in counseling. He’s trying to stop it....
When men reveal they objectify women–treat those men accordingly. One of the things that shocks me about evangelical culture is that a man can reveal that he has a really low view of women, or that he objectifies women or blames them for men’s sin, and that doesn’t...
I do not believe that pastors need to be perfect. I absolutely believe that all of us are works in progress, and that we will always have areas where we need to grow. And I think it's a good idea, in general, for pastors to admit when they're still growing or where...
What do you do when your husband is in the ministry and you catch him using porn? I wrote about this years ago, and wasn't planning on writing about it again, but last night I had this overwhelming urge to post this on Facebook:If you are married to someone in...
Has Hollywood totally messed up our sex lives? I talk a lot about how evangelical teaching has messed up our expectations around sex. But let's face it--a lot of those expectations are in movies and shows, too!Behind the scenes at the blog we're getting ready to move...
Can we have a nuanced discussion about porn and the likelihood of recovery? One of our goals for what we do is to help people have "informed consent"--in other words, before they make a decision, they need to know all the facts. We can't be afraid of data and...
How many Christian husbands see sex in a healthy way? We know that sexual sin, and porn use, and objectification of women are rampant. But it's not everywhere. So how many guys aren't affected by this? In February and March I'm posting several "number of the day"...
Is lust really every man's battle? And how do we handle different libidos? It's launch week for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, and I wanted to save some of our most important findings from our men's survey for this special...
Does lust have to be every man's battle? The Every Man's Battle book series has sold 4,000,000 copies, and they've certainly spread the idea that lust is, indeed, what every man struggles with. And people do believe it in large numbers. 62% of women and 73% of men...
Yesterday Focus on the Family had Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta promoting their book Married Sex, and I'm just depressed. On Fridays I usually do a round-up of social media for the week, but I was awake so much last night in turmoil about this. At some point we need to...
I've had a very strange week of defending myself from attacks I didn't know were coming. I shared a little bit about this in yesterday's podcast at the end (my little devotional, or whatever you want to call it), but this was a very emotionally draining week. To...
The "All men struggle with lust" message is a toxic one. On Tuesday I don't write blog posts anymore--but I published something on Facebook this morning that I thought I'd move over here as well! Yesterday I asked in my Instagram stories how the "All men struggle with...
There's a very line between way TMI and just sharing educational information. And in today's Start Your Engines Podcast (we like to take the last Thursday of every month and dedicate it to a podcast that men would be interested in as well), we try to show how men and...
What do you do when you're told that it's your Christian duty to act like porn for your husband? Many of you have really enjoyed hearing Andrew Bauman on the Bare Marriage podcast. He's the co-founder and co-director of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual...