I've been thinking about the lectionary this Easter holiday. It's still a holiday here in Canada, and I'll be taking most of the day to relax and recuperate from a cold, but I thought I'd write some thoughts I had after all the services at my Anglican church this...
Teaching modesty messages makes church more dangerous for teen girls. That's what our newest paper, out in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, shows. It's based on our dataset for our book She Deserves Better, and the lead author on it (Nicole Gallego)...
I've seen so many social media complementarian messages telling women to take the initiative to fix things. One particular one accused women of pride if they saw a problem in the relationship, but then thought: "he's the leader, go fix it." Women were told to take the...
I often get accused of just hating all evangelical marriage books. Surely there's SOMETHING you like, Sheila? Right? Or are you just trying to badmouth everything so that you can sell more books? The critiques often go like that. But here's the thing: It actually...
The idea that men want respect while women want love doesn't stand up to scientific scrutiny. We've studied it, as have others, and we can now definitively say that it's bunk. And I wanted a post that outlined some of it here on the blog--not just in our new book The...
It's the podcast where we finally get to disprove the love & respect thesis! Did God make men to need respect, while women need love? Do men prefer respect over love? We've been told this for decades, starting with James Dobson popularizing it, and then Emerson...
When evangelical teachers say “men need respect”, what do they mean? On both Facebook and Threads, I posted this question:“Men have a unique, God-given need for respect.” When evangelical leaders teach this in regards to marriage, what, practically, are they saying...
Focus on the Family thinks life was better in 1964. You know, when many minorities in the U.S. had few civil rights. When women couldn't leave abusive husbands. When women couldn't get credit in their own name, or get a mortgage. That was better! When Rebecca and I...
Why did we all get sucked in to toxic teachings about sex and marriage? Because here's the thing: Unless we understand the why, then even if we leave those toxic teachings behind, it's very likely that we'll get sucked into other forms of toxic teachings about...
For years, we've been showing how the vast majority of Christian marriage books contain toxic teachings. It started with us reading Love & Respect, and seeing how terrible the sex advice was. When the powers that be ignored us when we tried to bring up concerns...
Vashti is an often-forgotten woman from the Old Testament. I love the Bible because it’s filled with stories–heroes and villains; kings and peasants; rulers and prophets. And often the Bible leaves us with stories without giving any commentary on them. We’re supposed...
She wanted to follow God and be a good complementarian wife. But after a few years it all fell apart! Before I jump into our story, a few definitions. Complementarianism is the belief that God created men to be in authority over women, in the church and the home (some...
Let's celebrate being a woman who loves God! I've been following the Her Cherch account on Instagram for a while, and she has awesome cartoons that cut to the heart of so much of what we talk about here on Bare Marriage! The artist is Marcia Takasaki, and we've been...
What happens when a charismatic man with no qualifications starts a marriage ministry? You end up with a book that sounds like he wants the best for people--but gives completely unhelpful, and often very harmful, advice. Today Keith and I are taking a deep dive into...
One of the things we’re passionate about on this blog is making sure the self-help and relationship advice in the evangelical world is healthy. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...