If you're in conflict, you just compromise, right? Well, not necessarily! Here's the thing: compromise only works if you're starting from an even playing field. If one of you is bearing significantly more of the load for the relationship, then it's not about each of...
Can you feel hurt without actually being harmed? And is there a difference between hurt and harm? This is a conversation that we’ve been having in our Patreon facebook group (exclusive for our Patreon supporters; you can join for as little as $5 a month!), and I...
What do you practically do about entitlement in marriage? We’re at the end of our entitlement series, and all month we’ve been looking at how entitlement can impact a marriage. We’ve looked at the difference between realistic expectations and entitlement. We’ve looked...
What if a lot of entitlement comes from a desire to not have to grow up? It’s Rebecca on the blog today, and I’m expanding on what I sent in a newsletter back last week. But I want to start with a story of a time when I was refusing to be a grown up, and it caused me...
What is it that actually kills a marriage? In the Christian world, “lack of commitment” is often named as the culprit that brings a marriage to an end. I don’t agree. Even if you didn’t have commitment, if the marriage was great, why would anyone leave?Sure, every...
If you just have enough faith, and if you just pray enough, then shouldn't God save your marriage? The first women's Bible study I ever went to, I think right around the time Rebecca was born, was for the book Power of a Praying Wife. The book has sold 8,000,000...
What if the evangelical church is diagnosing the problems with marriage WRONG--and so offering the wrong solutions? That's what we've been looking at on the blog all month, and there's lots more to come! Today on the podcast I walk Keith through the highlights of all...
What if too much marriage advice puts the cart before the horse, demanding reconciliation before trust has been rebuilt? We've been looking this month at how so often evangelical marriage advice puts the emphasis in the wrong place, and thus misdiagnoses the problem...
Who is the person who is most likely to read a marriage book and try to get help with their marriage? Someone whose marriage is a source of strain. If you're in a great marriage, you don't need to read a marriage book. You might read one if you're part of a small...
What if the reason that our evangelical marriage advice often doesn't work is because we're aiming for the wrong thing? And because we're aiming for the wrong thing--we've got the wrong solutions? Welcome to our Marriage Misdiagnosis series! This month we're going to...
What if our marriage advice doesn't work because we're diagnosing marriage problems wrong? This month we're starting a new series called Marriage Misdiagnosis, looking at how often our marriage advice doesn't work because we've got the wrong aims, and thus our advice...
What do you do when your husband is in the ministry and you catch him using porn? I wrote about this years ago, and wasn't planning on writing about it again, but last night I had this overwhelming urge to post this on Facebook:If you are married to someone in...
Did you know that 45,000 receive an email from me every Friday with a round-up of things from the blog and social media that week? To make sure you don't miss anything? And that email is usually written by Rebecca, with an extra insight or thought into where the...
So the wet towels anecdote from Love & Respect has gone big on social media this week. And I wanted to share it with you! As some of you may remember, I've been appalled at what Emerson Eggerichs said in his book Love & Respect (again, the most used marriage...
Unconditional respect isn't a thing. And yet we're often told that men need unconditional respect, just like women need unconditional love. It's summertime, so I'm taking a month off of recording new podcasts, and instead I'm going to highlight some of my favourites...