The strangest thing about watching Netflix’s Death of a Pastor’s Wife is how familiar it all feels. Our family has been attending an Anglican Church since COVID ended. We haven’t been in a typical evangelical church for over 7 years. We left because of trauma and...
Evangelicalism has huge double standards of sexual expectations in marriage. One of the things we tried to drive home in The Marriage You Want is that the biggest killer of marriage is entitlement. When you think you're owed something from your spouse without you...
Let's look at how specific discipleship materials actually enable marital rape. But first, a bit of background. Last week on my Substack I re-ran a post I wrote a few years ago on this blog about the two kinds of marital rape (here's the Substack post and the original...
You shouldn't prioritize sex in your marriage. That's how we open chapter four of our new book The Marriage You Want. Instead, we argue, you should prioritize the ingredients of great sex. I'm going to talking about this further in a FREE webinar with Jay Stringer...
Is it fair to compare romance novels to porn? Quite often in comment sections in our posts about porn, or even in pastor's sermons or various websites for single women, the topic of romance novels = porn will be raised. Men will often say, "sure, you call out guys for...
Why are so many evangelical authors trying to convince married women not to have sexual boundaries? In episode 260 of the Bare Marriage podcast, that dropped last week, Rebecca and I had one of my favourite convos so far, when we looked at how too many evangelical...
We know there's a great need for The Great Sex Rescue in Spanish. Every week I hear from women who are wondering about how to get our material to their friends/family members in Latin America, or in Latin American communities in the U.S. Love & Respect is...
I'm tired of being called uptight for not wanting pornified views of sex. The amazing Gisele Pelicot, who is genuinely a hero, has famously said "shame must switch sides." She's the woman whose husband arranged for almost 100 men to rape her while she was unconscious,...
What if a guy is struggling with lust, but honestly wants to do better? But at the same time, he finds that when he’s out in public, he DOES immediately focus on women’s body parts or imagine them naked. He doesn’t want to. He’s in counseling. He’s trying to stop it....
What quality of sex do evangelical couples tend to have? This was one of the questions that we set out to answer when we launched our ground-breaking survey to 20,000 married evangelical women and our followup survey with 3000 evangelical men. We used the data from...
What do you do if you've never enjoyed sex--but you've been having it anyway? What if you've been married for years but sex has never felt great, but you've been "fulfilling his needs." And now you're getting tired of it and you want that to change? Or what if you've...
Maybe orgasm is elusive because we're going about it wrong. I’m pretty sure that when most people start The Orgasm Course, they’re going to head right to Module 4. That’s where we talk about sexual technique and how to figure out arousal and orgasm. That’s where we go...
It's time to talk about orgasms! We spend a lot of time on the Bare Marriage podcast and blog talking about what's gone WRONG in evangelical teaching. But we also want to teach how to make things go right. Four years ago, after we had finished our research for The...
Hi, everyone! This week we're talking about orgasm--because it matters! We spend a lot of time on the blog talking about where teaching has gone wrong and made our marriages and sex lives worse. But we've also created a ton of content, including courses, that teach...
I think it's time to talk more about orgasm! We spend a lot of time at Bare Marriage showing how BAD teaching can lead us to really bad outcomes--no sexual pleasure; distance in marriage; even sexual pain. But we don't just want to show you what can mess you up. We...