What do we mean by “a good marriage”? When we say, “I want a good marriage”, what, exactly, are we talking about? A marriage that lasts 50 years? A marriage that doesn’t divorce? A marriage that produces great kids? A marriage that follows God’s “created order” of a...
I've been talking about this for so long, and it's just about time to open the doors! The Launch Team for our book The Marriage You Want launches--for lack of a better word--next Monday. So now's the time to join so you can be all ready to go when the doors open!...
I believe men can be emotionally healthy and available– –just as much as women can be! I don’t believe that women are necessarily better parents, or more emotionally in tune and healthy, or more emotionally stable than men. I don’t believe that women are more...
Christmas is coming! And back before my blog became more about evidence-based advice for sex and marriage, I gave a lot of general marriage advice and ideas. Around Christmas, I had some posts and ideas I really liked. And so I thought I'd run some of those again as...
There's been a horrible meme circulating about how God used David--so we should rejoice when God uses evil men. I've seen it myself; it's been shared and debated in our Patreon group; and so many of you have sent it to me. While it does have immediate American...
We don't have to accept pastors demonizing little girls. Recently, I was sent a clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go looking for these. Josh Howerton, you may remember, is the same megachurch pastor who told women to “stand where...
Recently, I received a question from a reader about how to find a good counselor“I really need help knowing how to find the right kind of counselor. We have one but he is caught up in the traditional Christian stuff about men's problems being lost etc. I'm also...
Our new marriage book is available for pre-order! The Marriage You Want is out in six months! But you can pre-order it now!For years, one of the most frustrating emails I’ve gotten is someone asking for a recommendation for a marriage book. And I haven’t had anything...
Remember Bill Clinton and it depends on the definition of "is"? In the 90s, in the middle of the Monica Lewinsky scandal (which, in retrospect, is so full of uneven power dynamics), Bill Clinton denied having an affair based on a silly definition. And, because of...
Sheila here! Last week, Bethany Jantzi joined us on the Bare Marriage podcast to talk about how the elements of coercive control are actually found in the marital dynamics that so much of our evangelical marriage advice creates. Which is horrifying! At the end of the...
Jesus would never have called a child an “enemy.” Yet that’s exactly what Josh Howerton did in a sermon on August 11, when he was telling men to fight for their families. I was sent this clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go...
Does abuse show up more in complementarian circles? If you missed episode 246 of the Bare Marriage podcast, you missed out on a great one (and I highly recommend going back to listen when you have a chance!). I had the privilege of sitting down with Bethany Jantzi....
Sheila here! Recently I saw a great post on Instagram by my friend Shari Smith, who handles a lot of my social media behind the scenes (she’s been a big help with my Facebook page getting hacked this week–PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow our new page!). Shari wrote a...
What if evangelical marriage advice actually mimics coercive control? A few months ago I was emailed by Bethany Jantzi when I started talking about The Excellent Wife online. She had just done her dissertation on how The Excellent Wife actually has the same advice and...
The Excellent Wife is a horribly depressing book to read. It was profoundly heavy and sad. When I started writing these onesheets, they didn’t really affect me that much. Most of the books I was going to be reading were ones I had read already, or were ones I had read...