With thanks to Brazos Press for sponsoring this post. Forgiveness is possible only after we’ve had the opportunity to name our losses. That’s how Susannah Griffith opens the chapter on lamentations in her book Forgiveness After Trauma. We talked about the book on the...
Why does our doctrine of forgiveness and healing often cause so much pain? We’re told the problem is our hearts, that we’re just bitter. But what if it’s not that? What if our teaching on forgiveness has gotten things all wrong? This week, on the podcast, I introduced...
Is sex really painful the first time? That’s one of the most common questions I get asked from engaged women waiting for the wedding night. How much is going to hurt? What should I expect? This month I’m going to look at some “myths” that we often have around sex....
Last week, a video of Steven Crowder berating his wife Hilary went viral. Hilary was eight months pregnant with twins at the time, and video showed her trying to de-escalate while Steven Crowder yelled at her, swore at her, threatened her ("Watch it!"), and accused...
Not every girl has an equal chance of growing up and marrying an abuser. The family circumstances and social environment she grows up in can greatly impact her chances. And these things are, to a certain extent, out of our control. But there are things that are even...
Sometimes I laugh when making a Fixed It for You and I just can't stop. I mean, often my Fixed It for Yous are so awful that they make you angry and make you all riled up to change things all at once. And sometimes they're so stupid (for lack of a better word) that...
Today I want to tell you the story of a woman who was the victim of marital rape--and what her church did to her. She's an amazing woman. She reached out to me after our posts on marital rape back in November, in the middle of our series about getting out of sexual...
John MacArthur has sent abused women back to their husbands. It is horrific. Julie Roys broke a story last year about Eileen Gray. Twenty years ago she came to the church leadership at Grace Community Church for help for her abusive marriage. Her husband was abusing...
Do you remember your pre-teen years when you used to dream of kissing your crush? In those days you likely couldn't imagine much beyond kissing, but kissing was a BIG DEAL. All the romance movies ended when the couple had their first kiss. The culmination of teenage...
What do you practically do about entitlement in marriage? We’re at the end of our entitlement series, and all month we’ve been looking at how entitlement can impact a marriage. We’ve looked at the difference between realistic expectations and entitlement. We’ve looked...
What if a lot of entitlement comes from a desire to not have to grow up? It’s Rebecca on the blog today, and I’m expanding on what I sent in a newsletter back last week. But I want to start with a story of a time when I was refusing to be a grown up, and it caused me...
When we marry, it's because we want to be with someone for the rest of our lives. We enjoy being with them. We love them. We want that relationship. And God said that was a good thing! "It is not good for man to be alone." This month on the blog we're looking at the...
Is it wrong to have expectations in marriage? We've been talking about entitlement in marriage, and on Monday I wrote about the difference between feeling entitled and having realistic expectations in marriage. I want to expand on that today. So often we're told that...
What is it that actually kills a marriage? In the Christian world, “lack of commitment” is often named as the culprit that brings a marriage to an end. I don’t agree. Even if you didn’t have commitment, if the marriage was great, why would anyone leave?Sure, every...
If your husband has been coercing you into sex, how do you get him to understand what he's done? That's the million dollar question, isn't it? We're in the middle of a series on what to do if one, or both, of you have dug your sex life into a pit. And fundamental to...