Being the higher drive spouse can be really frustrating. You want to connect with your spouse, and you want to have a passionate marriage, but it seems like your spouse doesn't share those same desires. And that can feel like a rejection. This is the last post in the...
How do you initiate sex with your wife without turning her off? We've been working through an obligation sex series for the last few weeks, and one of the big things I've been stressing is that making your spouse feel like they are obligated to have sex has disastrous...
Obligation sex can wreak havoc on us. For last month we’ve been doing a deep dive into obligation sex, looking at the main problems with obligation sex, how it affects women’s bodies, why you don’t need to consent to being used, and more. But as we’re nearing the end...
Just because you have a responsive libido doesn't mean you don't have a libido! I make this point repeatedly in our revamped Boost Your Libido course that launches next Monday, but I really want to drive this home today: Just because you don't have what we call a...
Sex is supposed to be a great gift from God--and most of us would love to experience it as that great gift! But often we never seem to want it. We want to want it--but our bodies don't seem to cooperate. Our minds don't seem to cooperate. We wish we could feel more...
Let's talk about what influences your felt libido--what triggers you to want sex, and what triggers you to not want sex. We're starting our "What's Killing Women's Libido"? series, and on Monday we launched it looking at 15 things that can kill a woman's libido. Those...
Welcome to the "what's killing women's libido?" series! In the month of June I want to look at some of the reasons that women's libido is often so low, and look at what we can do about that. Now, I know that many of you reading this blog have the opposite...
If you think 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 is a command for women to have sex on demand with their husbands, you've lost the plot. And not just that, but you have no business leading an SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) seminary where future SBC pastors are trained. But that's...
What if male Christian authors are digging the very hole they're trying to climb out of--and killing women's libido? Welcome to June, everybody! And in June, our focus is going to be on libido, asking the question: "What's killing women's libido?" Now, I know there's...
Just a super quick post today on why "equality" sometimes misses the boat when it comes to sexual pleasure. I use Tuesdays either to take a day off from writing the blog, or to share something super quick that's on my mind and I just want to write it out. I'm hoping...
For the last three years I've been trying to change the evangelical conversation about sex. I've been pointing out how we went so very far off track with so much of our messaging in our best-sellers--focusing on men's satisfaction and ignoring women's; seeing sex as a...
Is lust really every man's battle? And how do we handle different libidos? It's launch week for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, and I wanted to save some of our most important findings from our men's survey for this special...
Can we please change the way we talk about women not wanting to have sex? I've seen a few videos on TikTok lately where Christian men bemoan the fact that women stop wanting sex once they get married, and call this "emotional damage." I do agree that if a spouse...
What if a guy knows he’s gone down a bad path with his sex life–but he doesn’t know how to get back? Like many of you probably did, I spent much of the weekend watching the invasion of Ukraine by Russia unfold on social media. There were some heartwarming and...
The most damaging belief we found on our survey of 20,000 women was the obligation sex message. Getting married believing that a wife was obligated to give her husband sex when he wanted it resulted in much higher rates of sexual pain, lower orgasm rates, and lower...