When people say they “don’t want” sex tonight, what do they mean? We talked about this on the Bare Marriage podcast last week, but I'd like to elaborate on part of it today. I think we often get confused when people talk about this. They’ll say,“Well, sometimes I have...
"So you think it's okay if women just don't have sex, then?" Whenever we talk about how sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and that the obligation sex message is toxic, the reply we get is something along these lines--without obligation,...
What happens to your ability to orgasm after menopause? In the last few months I’ve talked to three women in my social circle who say that orgasm has completely stopped once they started menopause, though it was pretty easy before. For one woman it’s been ten years...
How do you initiate sex with your wife without turning her off? We've been working through an obligation sex series for the last few weeks, and one of the big things I've been stressing is that making your spouse feel like they are obligated to have sex has disastrous...
Sex matters in marriage. When sex is mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, sex makes you feel connected. It minimizes minor tensions and makes you laugh. It helps you sleep and makes you feel more relaxed. And it contributes significantly to marital...
Obligation sex can wreak havoc on us. For last month we’ve been doing a deep dive into obligation sex, looking at the main problems with obligation sex, how it affects women’s bodies, why you don’t need to consent to being used, and more. But as we’re nearing the end...
More sex does not fix a marriage. In our study of 20,000 women for The Great Sex Rescue, we found that more sex made good marriages great. Good sex, in a healthy marriage, definitely helps that marriage thrive. But sex can’t fix a bad marriage. And, indeed, having bad...
Should women get to have a say in when they have sex? I would think that the answer to this is pretty obvious. I don't have time for a long post today, but I want to talk about a social media trend that's been occurring, I think because of my obligation sex series. ...
Is there a way forward after obligation sex? If obligation sex has been the norm in your marriage, and if it's been affecting your libido and your marriage, what do you actually do about it? How do you recover from it? This month on the blog we've been looking at...
Can feelings of sexual obligation affect your libido long-term? This month we're talking about obligation sex. We started last week by noting 10 things to understand about obligation sex, when I wrote the definitive post of everything that I tend to talk about with...
Obligation Sex is the idea that a wife is obligated to have sex when her husband wants to. It’s that simple. It was one of the beliefs that we studied in our survey of 20,000 women for our book The Great Sex Rescue, and we found that when women believed this message...
Every week I try to create awesome content for you all on the blog and the podcast–and even my social media! But I’ve got to tell you–some of the best content coming out of Bare Marriage is our Friday email that goes out to 46,000 people every week. And I don’t write...
This week, Focus on the Family actually published something healthy. Now, before I go any further, this does not mean that I think they’re a healthy organization now. They still promote all the same unhealthy authors in their store. They still don’t condone divorce...
We’ve got some new findings from our survey of 20,000 women! Behind the scenes, for the last year, between running new numbers for blog posts and podcasts, and presenting at conferences, Joanna Sawatsky (my amazing co-author for The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves...
Ready for some new research on orgasm? It's been a while since we shared some new findings in the areas of sex and marriage, and we've been saving new peer reviewed articles and studies to tell you about! Today we thought we'd focus on two that relate to obligation...