How do you actually measure the "good fruit" of marriage teaching? Over the last little while, we've been criticized for saying that it's good fruit if marriages are happy, while ignoring the more important things like whether people are obeying Christ. That's...
Complementarianism is threatened when women see there are alternatives. I've got some quick new findings for you today, and then some birthday reflections I had yesterday (took the day off to celebrate my 56th birthday, mostly by building new garden beds, which was...
With thanks to Zondervan and the book To Heal or Harm for sponsoring this post.My husband Keith is in the middle of a 4-part series about why complementarianism has such bad outcomes. He started last week looking at the analogy that complementarians often use when...
The medium is the message. And when it comes to Christian patriarchy, the medium is super pretty right now! Marshall McLuhan, a Canadian sociologist, said that famous “medium is the message” line sixty years ago now. He was explaining how the medium that we hear a...
Let's look at His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley But first... One of the things we’re passionate about on this blog is making sure the self-help and relationship advice in the evangelical world is healthy. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed 40,000...
I've been doing podcast interviews about our new book The Marriage You Want all over the place! And one that I landed last week was the Shifting Culture podcast. Its host, Joshua Johnson, wrote an article on his substack about my interview on his podcast, and I was...
Women aren't more emotional and men more logical That's the rhetoric that we often hear, but men are just as emotional as women--they just don't necessarily process those emotions as well. Chapters 7 and 8 in our new book The Marriage You Want are all about how to...
We're hoping The Marriage You Want can be a great clarifier. Our newest book, The Marriage You Want, was published last Tuesday, and it's doing well--the #1 new release in Christian marriage all week. Thank you for that! But I had a commenter say something important...
What does immaturity have to do with complementarianism? We had a hard time trying to figure out what to call this episode, because we didn't want to be TOO controversial--but at the same time, the findings were super interesting. When we looked at the data from our...
I’ve spent years trying to untangle the Christian marriage advice puzzle. When we started researching the best-selling marriage books when we were writing The Great Sex Rescue, we found, to our dismay, that the majority of them ended up giving really bad advice, that...
Is it a "love language" to do basic chores? When we wrote The Great Sex Rescue, one of the things that really bothered us was that evangelical marriage authors talked a ton about increasing the frequency of sex without ever mentioning the orgasm gap or sexual pain...
Is "Acts of Service" a real love language? Many of you may be familiar with the runaway best-seller by Gary Chapman The Five Love Languages, which argues that there are five different love languages, and we all have a preferred one: Acts of Service Gifts Words of...
Is being a good wife in conflict with being a good mom? And what does it look like to prioritize your marriage? Episode 270 of Bare Marriage!
What do we mean by “a good marriage”? When we say, “I want a good marriage”, what, exactly, are we talking about? A marriage that lasts 50 years? A marriage that doesn’t divorce? A marriage that produces great kids? A marriage that follows God’s “created order” of a...
I believe men can be emotionally healthy and available– –just as much as women can be! I don’t believe that women are necessarily better parents, or more emotionally in tune and healthy, or more emotionally stable than men. I don’t believe that women are more...