Do the 5 Love Languages stand up to scientific scrutiny? In January of this year, an article was published and was called Popular Psychology Through a Scientific Lens: Evaluating Love Languages From a Relationship Science Perspective in the Psychological Science...
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The Direct Communication Series: 6 Elements of Direct Communication
What does direct communication look like? And what ISN'T direct communication? This month our series will focus on direct communication in marriage: How to state your feelings and thoughts clearly, without beating around the bush. And how to listen effectively to your...
Even IF Women Want Love More than Respect–Is That a Good Thing?
We've all heard the trope that men need respect while women need love. It's in the best-selling book Love & Respect, which I have critiqued copiously. And as we pointed out in a podcast on the problems with unconditional respect, the whole foundation for the "men...
79 Hobbies to Do with Your Spouse
Married couples need to have some fun together! And one of the best ways to do that is to find hobbies to do as a couple. We've had some heavy weeks at To Love, Honor and Vacuum lately, and so I thought it was time to revisit one of my favourite posts ever and run it...
How Do I Reconnect with My Husband? Finding the Spark Again
"How do I reconnect with my husband?" That's a question I get in various forms from so many of you who email. Life has gotten too busy, you feel like you pass like ships in the night, and you just want to feel like you know each other again. As we're launching a new...
How to Get to Deeper Levels of Communication in Marriage: Understanding the 5 Levels of Communication
Growing in emotional maturity is largely about being able to comfortably go to deeper levels of communication. So many readers write to me saying that they find it so hard to connect with their spouse. One reader recently, for instance, said this:We have been married...
The EMOTIONAL MATURITY SERIES: 6 Ways to Grow in Emotional Maturity
How do you become more emotionally mature? We're in the middle of our series on emotional maturity. We've looked at what emotional maturity is, and how sometimes people use "God language" to avoid emotional maturity. We've looked at what to do if your spouse is...
10 Questions to Ask Your Spouse to Grow Your Emotional Connection
Do you long for deeper emotional connection with your spouse? We've been talking a bit this week about how emotional connection is a prerequisite for great sex, and how sex can feed emotional connection, but it cannot completely replace it. We do need to feel "known."...
When You’re Married to Someone on the Autism Spectrum
What happens when you find out your husband is on the autism spectrum? We used to call it Asperger's (like what Sheldon has on The Big Bang Theory). But now the correct term is high functioning autism spectrum. And it has a big impact on marriage!Recently I was...
A Honeymoon at Home: 15 Things to Do When COVID-19 Has You in Isolation
What do you do for a honeymoon at home when coronavirus has left you stranded? We were talking last Friday about the people whose lives have been really affected by COVID-19--even if it's just in disappointments, and not in horrendous things. Obviously the people for...
Do Only Christians Have Good Marriages?
Do you need to be a Christian to have a good marriage? Last week I wrote a post on what makes a good marriage. When I was initially sketching out my points, I instinctively wanted to include something about letting Jesus lead your marriage, or having the power of the...
A Way to Show Love to Your Spouse–and Meet their Emotional Needs
How do you show love to your husband? How does your wife want to be loved? Our monthly theme for Wednesdays this month is about small, practical things you can put in place that can seriously help your marriage and help you to feel really close. Like, what are the...
How to Bring Playfulness Back to Your Marriage
You start dating, and it's magic. You put on music and do the silliest dance you can and she just thinks you're the funniest guy in the whole world. She laces her fingers with yours and it sends butterflies straight to your stomach. You spend all your time together...