Thank you to Zondervan and the book To Heal or Harm for sponsoring this post Often when we point out advice is harmful people respond with "but it's not meant for abusive marriages!" The implication is that those who are abused should realize that this book or video...
How did we get to the point where Scripture is so easily weaponized? Thank you to Zondervan for sponsoring this post. I mean, I suppose it always has been. That's one of the things Jesus railed against the religious leaders for, and that the prophets railed against...
How did people fall for Love & Respect? Emerson Eggerichs' 2004 best-selling marriage book is honestly one of the worst books I've ever read. It's badly researched. It messed up stats. It states bizarre opinions as if they are common sense. It gets the Bible...
I've been doing podcast interviews about our new book The Marriage You Want all over the place! And one that I landed last week was the Shifting Culture podcast. Its host, Joshua Johnson, wrote an article on his substack about my interview on his podcast, and I was...
Women aren't more emotional and men more logical That's the rhetoric that we often hear, but men are just as emotional as women--they just don't necessarily process those emotions as well. Chapters 7 and 8 in our new book The Marriage You Want are all about how to...
We're hoping The Marriage You Want can be a great clarifier. Our newest book, The Marriage You Want, was published last Tuesday, and it's doing well--the #1 new release in Christian marriage all week. Thank you for that! But I had a commenter say something important...
The Marriage You Want is now officially launched! I'm really excited about this book, because it's HEALTHY and I think it has the potential to upend the Christian marriage market and be disruptive (in a good way) like The Great Sex Rescue was. I told you a little bit...
What does immaturity have to do with complementarianism? We had a hard time trying to figure out what to call this episode, because we didn't want to be TOO controversial--but at the same time, the findings were super interesting. When we looked at the data from our...
I’ve spent years trying to untangle the Christian marriage advice puzzle. When we started researching the best-selling marriage books when we were writing The Great Sex Rescue, we found, to our dismay, that the majority of them ended up giving really bad advice, that...
Is it a "love language" to do basic chores? When we wrote The Great Sex Rescue, one of the things that really bothered us was that evangelical marriage authors talked a ton about increasing the frequency of sex without ever mentioning the orgasm gap or sexual pain...
Is "Acts of Service" a real love language? Many of you may be familiar with the runaway best-seller by Gary Chapman The Five Love Languages, which argues that there are five different love languages, and we all have a preferred one: Acts of Service Gifts Words of...
Is being a good wife in conflict with being a good mom? And what does it look like to prioritize your marriage? Episode 270 of Bare Marriage!
Is it wrong to have expectations in marriage? On Monday on the blog (and last Friday on Substack--are you following me there yet?) I was talking about entitlement in marriage, and how we found that to be the biggest marriage killer. (You can read all about it in our...
If you're in conflict, you just compromise, right? Well, not necessarily! Here's the thing: compromise only works if you're starting from an even playing field. If one of you is bearing significantly more of the load for the relationship, then it's not about each of...
What do we mean by “a good marriage”? When we say, “I want a good marriage”, what, exactly, are we talking about? A marriage that lasts 50 years? A marriage that doesn’t divorce? A marriage that produces great kids? A marriage that follows God’s “created order” of a...